relief.
For about a second and a half, standing in that corridor with a lunch box, I thought: good. Finally. Here it is.
Because I had spent eleven months waiting to find out what it was, and any answer is easier to hold than the shape of a question.
I had a list. An actual list, in my head, in order, of what it might be.
Another woman was first. It had been first since about the June.
And what I have to sit with is that for eleven months I would have found another woman easier than the truth, because another woman is a thing that happens to marriages and you can be angry about it in public.
There is no version of my husband was suspended and worked nights in a warehouse and could not tell me that I get to be angry about in front of anybody.
